Upset in MotoGP! Daunschagle takes Valencia!

iXXion · 10-29-2006, 12:22 PM

Incredible! Apparently, Pedrosa fell over mounting his bike on the start grid, creating a domino effect that knocked everyone over on the grid. Seizing his chance after noting that no official had redflagged the race, Leonard Daunschagle, a part-time caretaker at the world-famous Valencia Speedway, jumped aboard his Zundapp motorcycle and began circling the track. Daunschagle actually drove through the reassembled starting grid 3 times as confused and angry MotoGP and team officials argued over the current race status. Riders Emilio Puch and Donkashane MBownka were the first to realize that the race had never been stopped and roared into the first corner, after which the remainder of the MotoGP field followed suit, but were never able to make up the incredible lead amassed by Daunschagle, whose antique machine performed flawlessly, reaching speeds of 65-70 on Valencia's smooth roadway. After taking the checkered flag, Daunschagle reportedly thanked his mother, all the dead kittens, and Luke Skywalker before being detained by local police. Chief MotoGP Steward Bobofet DeColtierres issued a brief statement indicating that an error had been made, but it was beyond the ability of the MotoGP Des Nationes to change the race results. However, fines would be levied upon Daunschagle for failing to sign the MotoGP Championship log, not allowing a rider with more important sponsorship to win the race, not wearing the official MotoGP pinkie ring, and not taking part in the post-race news conference speaking broken english. An anonymous source indicated that because Daunschagle circled the track carrying a broom, it was thought that he was only fulfilling his duties of clearing the track of spent cartridges and women's delicates, and thus was ignored by the MotoGP staff. Valentino Rossi and Nicky Hayden, in a rare display of friendship, agreed that the MotoGP management were complete wankers, and joked about terminating their MotoGP contracts and accepting driving positions as teammates for Dale Earnhart Racing in 2007.